My old self in the past used to let someone hurt me emotionally over and over again. And when I felt hurt I would try to avoid my pain instead of facing it. I would distract myself by trying to keep busy, overworking, overeating, exercising, shopping, and even getting drunk. I thought those methods could help me ease my pain. However, I knew that the distractions just worked for a while and the pain was still there.
Realizing the consequences of avoiding my pain, I have started to change my perspective on what has happened. I have made a decision to face my emotional pains. And I adapt the meditation techniques: to accept pains as they are; by focusing my mind on my breathing, just observing the flow of the breath in and out of my nostrils. It helps me to become more aware of how my mind keeps pain trapped in.
I observe my thoughts and see them for what they are, no judgment. And when another thought arises, I just name it. I tell myself it is just thought and then I go back to focusing on the flow of my breath. I just keep doing this over and over again. When I do this I find that my breathing slows and I can begin to feel at ease.
We often don't get what we want in life. When we expect something to happen, so many times it does not happen the way we expected, or sometimes we lose what we have. While emotional pain is inevitable, suffering isn't. We can choose to face the pain, accept what has happened to cause the hurt, and then let go of it.
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